Alright… it’s Friday night, I have no date, a two-liter bottle of Schweppes, and 13″ of Devils hockey on TV at my apartment. Let’s rock!

Ok, I paraphrased that line from the episode of Futurama where main character Fry ends up spending a Saturday night playing a “real-life” form of the old-school video game Space Invaders in order to save the world. (He actually had Shasta instead of Schweppes and an all-Rush mix tape instead of the Devils, but details, details.) All those unfamiliar with the cartoon that is The Simpsons’ hilarious distant cousin should go here (and check out #16 to hear the original quote).

Anyway, to make things interesting, I’m blogging in real time. Away we go!…

(7:55 pm): In the MSG+ pre-game, Doc and Chico compared the Zubrus-Rupp-Clarkson line to the Crash Line of 1995 vintage. If they help us win the Cup, I’ll let it slide, but it’s tough for me to draw those comparisons when there are so many fond memories of Peluso, Holik and McKay mixing it up with opposing forwards. Anyway, the Flyers lead 1-0 after the 1st period on a goal given to RJ Umberger… which should have gone to Mike Mottau because he redirected it past his own goalie. Oh, Mottau, how could you??? At least the Frozen Four isn’t until next weekend, so he has plenty of time to reverse any bad karma for BC.

(8:00 pm): Other first-period thoughts… Madden had a great short-handed breakaway but couldn’t convert. What the heck? Scoring short-handed is like his trademark, does he even have any SHGs this season? Also, Brodeur looks relatively spry for his 40th straight start. See, I don’t necessary have a problem with him making so many starts in a row since he’s done it in the playoffs. BUT, he’s never done 40+ in a row going into the playoffs, which means any lengthy Cup run will either A) kill him or B) not happen. Hmmmm.

Second period in Philly is underway. Elsewhere, Icelanders lead the Broadway B*tards 1-0 thanks to someone whose name sounds like “Kyle the Bozo”. If he plays for the Uniondale Six, he probably is.

(8:16 pm): Mid-2nd, Devils getting outshot by the Phylers 18-7. Huh? If you’re going to tell me the final weekend is going to be a reversal of the entire year — i.e. get waxed by Philly but dominate the Rangers — ok, maybe I can live with that. But that’s all theoretical right now, and this type of play is not home-ice worthy. Also, they made up a stat, “failed clears”… FYI, Devils lead Philly in that category 8-1. I’m all for making the stats mean whatever you want, but only when they go in my team’s favor.

Elsewhere, Dan Girardi tied things up for the Rangers, but no surprise, Satan “helps” the Devils. Miro Satan gives the Isles a 2-1 lead, but do I really want to wish for the Sens over the Rags in the playoffs? Since I get burned by the old “be careful what you wish for” axiom so often, I say no. Que será, será.

(8:29 pm): I went back and checked the stats, and sure enough Madden has 3 short-handed goals this year. ‘Cause I’m on the ball. About 2:30 left in the 2nd, shots now approximately 259-9 in favor of Philly. Devils had better be sand-bagging it until the 3rd…

(8:38 pm): Almost forgot to mention: I HAD a 2-liter bottle of Schweppes, but it turned out to be half-full (and half-flat) when I went to the fridge. Bummer. It’s 2nd intermission time, or “Sutter tongue-lashing time,” as it is occasionally known. If you look out the window in a southwesterly direction, you might be able to see a faint red glow in the distance, which is radiating from the coach’s face as we speak. Er, as I write.

(8:54 pm): Ah, nothing beats a power play on freshly-Zamboni’d ice. Except when New Jersey fails to convert on said power play. I hate hockey.

(9:12 pm): I didn’t post anything right after the Phlyers made it 2-0 because I just needed some time to let the disappointment sink in. And, now it’s 3-0. The Flyers are in, the Rangers are in the process of coming back on the Icleanders, and now Sunday’s game means that the Devils might not only lose home ice advantage, but lose it to the Rags. There is a distinct possibility of an 0-8 regular season against the NYR, with an even more frightening possibility of 0-12… which I don’t even want to think about since I just threw up in my mouth a little. And now the pheeble Phlyer phans are taunt-chanting “Marty, Marty.” If I didn’t live above a family with small children, things might get ugly up in here.

(9:15 pm): Point of order: if you count the “Night at the Rock” blog that Monzo posted from his Blackberry against the Caps, running diaries have proven to be the ultimate k.o.d. With about 5 minutes left in this debacle, the Devils have been outscored 7-0 over the course of our live blogging here on Devilscast. I’m really not sure what’s keeping me from hurling my computer out the window right now.

(9:26 pm): Is it football season yet?

(9:27 pm): It’s over. The next time I get the urge to do one of these “running diaries”, I’m going to just give up and go listen to my all-Rush mix tape. Or go pop in a Futurama DVD.