Driving up the Parkway the day after New Year’s, I was flipping around to the different morning shows on the radio (don’t tell my employers) and heard a disturbing trend. Basically, almost every host I tuned into said that he/she deliberately made no New Year’s resolutions, because you can’t break ‘em if you don’t make ‘em. I immediately began thinking, who allowed this type of pansy, defeatist-attitude line of logic to permeate our culture?

Don’t get me wrong, I can be a lazy as the next guy when given the proper opportunity, but given that A) I like going against popular opinion quite often, and B) the rest of the world is ostensibly shunning New Year’s resolutions these days… well sir, I’m going to go right ahead and buck the trend.

Furthermore, since I just happened to catch the John Cusack vehicle “High Fidelity” on cable this past week, I’m going to take a page out of lead character Rob Gordon’s book and list the Top 5 New Year’s Resolutions for the Devils in 2008. Please note: These are not the actual resolutions of the Devils themselves, just the ones I’d make if I were part of the team:

1.) GET IT TOGETHER ON THE POWER PLAY: Going 24 consecutive man-advantage situations without a goal isn’t going to help come April.
2.) GIMME AN ‘A’! OR AT LEAST GIVE IT TO ELIAS: No doubt that our pal Patrik got off to a forgettable start and hasn’t been playing up to snuff this season, but was that any reason to pull the captaincy rug out from under him completely? Langenbrunner is clearly The Man now, but maybe making Elias an alternate might help restore some of his confidence (Lord knows the groin thing isn’t helping).
3.) BEAT THE [EXPLETIVE DELETED] ICELANDERS: As a part-time coworker of WFAN’s Steve Somers, I join The Schmoozer in taking delight at ragging on Islander fans. Maybe I should lay low for the purposes of good karma… or maybe New Jersey should use its remaining 4 meetings with the Isles as opportunities to run them over with the proverbial Zamboni.
4.) EMPLOY THE “MANGINI METHOD” OF INJURY DISCLOSURE: I understand that knowing the specifics of Jay Pandolfo’s injury situation can help us speculate when he finally might be able to return to the ice, but to me a “pubic bone ligament injury” is TMI. Could we take a cue from Jets head coach Eric Mangini and just list it as a “lower body injury”? Please?
5.) RESERVE A ROOM AT THE ROCK FOR OUR OLD FRIEND STANLEY: Since winning their first Cup in 1995, the Devils have not gone more than four full seasons without bringing Lord Stanley’s trophy back to the Garden State for a return engagement. It’s time to make it 4 Cups in 13 years — that’s a dynasty I’d like to see continue, as opposed to the dynasties that are currently ruining the other three major sports (no thanks to our brazen Bay State brethren).

As for myself, I resolve to get myself to The Rock a minimum of three more times before the end of the season. I know that doesn’t seem like a lot, but when you’re a starving Internet blogger who can rarely afford tickets and works evenings most of the week, you take what you can get.